CAN

You know, I spend a lot of time analyzing the things I can't do. I can't run a marathon without stopping to walk. I can't fit into a size 2. I can't run a 9 minute mile. Blah Blah. I annoy myself with my own thoughts, it's ridiculous.

With the coming of the new year, I've seen a shift in my thinking that I'm really quite proud of. I've been doing my best to focus on the things my body can do instead of what it can't.

I can move my legs 26.2 miles. I can squat over 200lbs. I can swim a lot better than I could before with 0 endurance. I can do a 3 minute plank.

It's refreshing to look at things from the flip side. My body may not be perfect - it doesn't look like it belongs on the front of a magazine and it doesn't squeeze into J Crew sizes... but it's strong and it's healthy.

It's amazing how different I feel when I acknowlede all that I can do and all the hard work I've put in to that. I'm stronger than I've ever been. I'm getting faster. I may be sidelined from long distances for a while as I recover from some minor injuries but that doesn't stop me from hitting the pavement and weights hard. I cross train in the form of pilates, yoga, spin and barre.

Today I am going to celebrate everything I'm able to do and GET to do. There will be a day when I cannot do it. Today isn't that day. Hopefully, tomorrow wont be either. May as well enjoy it and be happy about it while I have the ability to be!

January 1, 2015

So, here we are - 2015! I don't have an entire post planned but I wanted to jump on here and announce to the entire internet world that I am incredibly proud of myself.

This morning I completed the Atlanta Track Club's Resolution Run. It was a 4 mile run on a pretty crisp morning. I got to suit up in my snazzy compression rights and bright-light-esque pink long sleeve shirt and pin on my number. There's no feeling like race day no matter the distance. I get the same nerves and excitement.

Anyway, long story short, this course was way hillier than I anticipated. Anyone from Atlanta will tell you that Atlanta is known for the famous "Heat Hills and Humidity" so clearly I expected some hills but it felt like as soon as we hit the top of one, another would start. It was kinda like food poisoning - just when you think you're done puking - lol nope, no you're not.

Here comes the exciting part: WE HANDLED THEM. We didn't wimp out, we didn't walk them - we sucked it up and made it happen. Our pace was solid and it was a great way to start the year. I can tell that I'm getting so much stronger and my lifting routine is certainly helping. I was so excited to sprint to the finish line.

Here's an annoying race recap list instead of a long diary entry:

• The race was in a new location that was picked last minute due to some property sales issues. So, it was super crowded for the first mile or so. 
• Super hilly. 
• The Kids Shirts were way cuter than the adult's. My tiny person ran his FIRST RACE and got a little foam medal (kid safe, y'all) and a t-shirt. So pumped.
• The finishing snack boxes didn't have a single thing that was "nut free" so my tiny person couldn't eat any of it. #nutallergyproblems
• I finished the race feeling so confident and good about myself and looking forward to all the things I am going to accomplish in 2015 with my health and running. 

How I'm Gonna Make It Happen

There’s only a couple hours left in 2014 and I’m perusing people’s new year resolutions thinking to myself “how am I going to stay on track in 2015?” Everyone has such lofty goals. Some want to lose 20 pounds (I’m part of this group) and others want to save enough money to buy a new house. Some folks want to go back to school and some want to learn a new trade.

I already touched on my New Year resolution but I feel like there’s going to be more to it than what I originally stated.

I’m going to kick the soda habit once and for all. Starting tomorrow, January 1, 2015, I’m just going to quit. This isn’t going to be difficult. We don’t keep it in the house and I wont be at work for the first five days of the year. That’s enough time for me to get past the caffeine headaches and the sleepy mornings.

But what I’m really looking to do means doing what I need to do as far as nutrition and physical activity every day. And that is a really huge thing to try to commit to. Every day? EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. No matter what. That’s really enough to make me vomit.

So here are a couple of individual things I plan on doing most days. Life will get in the way. I will need a night where I lay around and drink wine and not kill it at the gym. There will be days where the gym and a run will simply fall to the side because of other responsibilities. And that’s ok. But, generally speaking, these are going to be my top 5 ways to ensure success of my goals for 2015:

1.       I am not going to weigh myself.
This should be rather easy. The scale is already put away and I have no interest in seeing where I’m starting the year off. I’m instead taking weekly “progress photos” which will be a much better indicator of progress than some bastard number on a scale.

2.       I am going to eat for fuel and not for fun. I will eat because I’m hungry and not because I’m bored or needing a quick snack to make me feel better. Food is fuel – that’s it, that’s all. If I don’t want to steam some broccoli to eat then I’m not truly hungry. Period.

3.       I’m going to start each day fresh. Every day will be a new opportunity to eat the right things, do the right workout and to treat myself with kindness. One day at a time. No more of this “let me plan the entirety of my month and when I miss a workout or something derails, I’m going to go into a fit of panic” – that’s ridiculous and it makes me very tired. One day at a time planning.

4.       I’m going to list things my body CAN DO instead of the things it can’t. Trust me, the CAN list is a lot longer than CAN’T.  (I CAN run a marathon, I CAN squat 200lbs, I CAN nearly bench press my weight).

5.       I will not compare myself to others. Just because they are thinner/taller/prettier/whatever doesn’t mean that they have everything. There’s a lot more to me than my physical appearance or running pace. It’s time I give myself credit for all the things I am and not compare to only the things I can see.

I figure that  if I do these things, the rest will fall into place.

Cheers to a new year, everyone!  

What Do I resolve to do in 2015?

Ugh. Resolution time, again? What else can I promise myself next year that I'm going to absolutely do and then by the end of February feel like a total failure when I inadvertently do whatever it is I resolved not to do? What a miserable set up. With all the odds of the world against us every day, why not add another spike to the coffin? Not a big deal. It's kinda like that meme that's been floating around on Facebook/Instagram - "Why would I weigh myself when I could light myself on fire and then roll around in glass and feel exactly the same way?"

Here's a list of what I know:

• I ran a marathon this year. 
• I have become much stronger through not only running but weight lifting and various cross training such as Barre and Yoga.
• I have improved my overall endurance from not being able to run .25 of a mile when I first started to being able to run lots without stopping. 
• Running/sweating/lifting weights makes me feel GREAT. 

Despite knowing all of these killer, awesome things - I also know this: No matter how kickass I feel I'm doing, the digital number that pops up on my scale has the ability to shatter the floor I walk on. I mean destroy me. How is this even possible? I'll talk shit and put anyone in their place in a heartbeat if need be but somehow an object (that I purchased!) has the ability to slice me? This girl? The one with the loud mouth and excessive sarcasm? Yeah. It's basically more ridiculous than American Idol still airing on television. 

So, this year, I've decided to do something incredibly positive. I have resolved to not weigh myself in 2015. 

That's right - you heard me (well, kinda). I've put my scale away (the boo thang uses it) and it is out of sight and somewhat out of mind. I'm tired of the ridiculous bullshit I put myself through mentally and physically because of a number that should have nothing to do with my actual health.

I do the right things. I eat well, I exercise hard. I like to drink beer and have cake and that's absolutely okay. I'm not going to continue down this ridiculous path. If I eat something salty, the next day the scale is like "OH HAI, SHAMOO. WHERE YA BEEN?" And why should I allow some sort of horrific punishment for indulging? It's not like I wont drink a gallon of water the next day and add in some more reps to make up for it. Shit.


Long story short, THE SCALE IT OUT. I'm not going to say "no more sweets" because I really like sweets. I'm not going to say "no more carbs" because that's truly dangerous to everyone. I'm simply going to say "no more scale" because truthfully, it's proven to be the most dangerous to my health.

Oh, yeah. I ran a marathon!

SURPRISE!

I'm not dead. I didn't die after week #5 of training. I made it through all of the training and rocked my marathon! Well, by rocked I mean I finished and I had a great experience. I wont share my finishing time not because I'm embarrassed but because it simply doesn't matter. This race wasn't about finishing times or trying to prove that my speed is superior. I had a wonderful time and couldn't have really gone any better. I never hit The Wall where I questioned my sanity as to why I made this decision. I never felt like quitting. I never stopped smiling. That's really what matters the most for me. I did it. I accomplished this huge thing that I never thought I could until I did.

At the end I cried big, ugly tears. They gave me my medal, took my picture and I was off. It was like this dream had just happened. Totally in la la land for at least a day after. The recovery wasn't too bad and I'm moderately considering running another one in a couple years. For now...the goals change and the work continues.

The 2015 goal is to run every race in the Atlanta Track Club Grand Prix Series. Totally doable and most of them are free since I'm a member. Shorter distances and a faster pace. Let's see where this train goes!

I Hate Roller Coasters / Marathon Training Week #5

Theme park visits were always my least favorite part about summer vacation as a kid. I am short (5'3" on a good day) so I'm breathing everyone's recycled air and I'm stuck in the middle of everyone's body heat. My legs are big so I'd get sweaty and they would chaff something fierce. And then there was the roller coasters. I can't stand them. I'd rather walk across fire than deal with the ups and downs and swiggles (technical term) and cork screws. I'd get woosy and want to vomit every. Single. Time.

And as much as I hate roller coasters, I was like "omg I should totally run a marathon! What an awesome goal!" (Okay look - I count on you people to keep me from making ridiculous, irrational decisions. Ya messed up.)

Marathon training is, by far, the biggest roller coaster I've ever had the (dis)pleasure of being on. I can't tell you how many different emotions I feel towards it one day. Literally. Excited. Nervous. Scared. Pumped up. Let down. All of it. In one big tornado of fun.

Here's to hoping that it all kinda calms down as I get further into training. It didn't help that I had an awful experience at my group run week before last. In short: I didn't have a coach with me, I got lost, finished last as they were packing up the truck and was then told that I had a map and a cell phone so it was my own fault for getting lost. Thanks for that kick in the face, bro. I left feeling absolutely deflated and feeling like I could have saved my $85 and ran for free, by myself. I don't need to pay money to feel bad about myself.

Thankfully, Meg came to my rescue and ran my long run with me on Saturday so I didn't have to run with those folks. It was a wonderful 11 miles! I was pretty sore the day after but it was much better than running alone and feeling like a total loser.

I'm going to give the group one more go this week. If I'm not feeling like it's going to be a good place for me to continue my journey to the marathon, then I'll be asking for a partial refund and I'll continue to train on my own and with friends as their schedules allow.

So - there's the roller coaster of the day. BANANAS. But - all in all - not bad. Just gotta keep on running. AH!

I'm Back! // Marathon Training 2.0 is Underway!

No, I didn't die. I'm just horrifically bad at blogging when life keeps me so darn busy.

Let's see here...where to begin? I think I've found my running mojo/selfconfidence/whatever back. It's nice to feel motivated to get out there again. Well, to get out there and not quit once the pain hits. And when you have lost the endurance you kicked so much butt to develop - it's tough. Hurting after mile one is a giant punch directly in the ovary.

So far I'm in week #3. (ALREADY?!) Week 1 with the training group felt like the first day of class. Awkward. I didn't know anyone. I had the choice between a 6 mile run or an 8 mile run. I knew I should do the 8 but I wanted to fall back on the 6. Nope - powered through and did the 8. SO glad I did. Week 2 - well. It rained. Not just rained. But epically friggin' downpoured. So, I missed the group run. Some really brave souls made it out and did the course as outlined. I'm a pansy and simply didn't want to get hurt due to me slipping and falling. No worries, I got my 9 mile run in later in the day. Yeah, right when the humidity was juuuust high enough to be miserable.

Today's run was simply opressive. Anyone in Georgia for the summer will understand. It wasn't the heat. It was the humidity and dew point. UGH. But, I got out there and got it done. One more check box off of the training schedule. Tomorrow it's 6 miles with the lovely Meg. YAY!

So far, so good. I don't hurt while walking up the stairs and I'm taking things nice and easy. Not going to pressure myself into success.... #savannah2014